A long time has elapsed since my last post.  For that I sincerely apologise.  I have posted some thoughts that I think are relevant to all of us who truly seek to serve God and to be everything and all that he desires us to be for him.  Earlier on in 2016 I encouraged someone not to give up on something they had previously started.  I used the words that were displayed in the local gym that I attend.

A poster on the wall in front of one of the running machines had the following words written on it, "When you feel like giving up remember why you started".  A few people have kindly contacted me regarding my blog, "The other side of the pulpit".  They had encouraged me to start writing again but I was struggling to believe or accept that what I was writing was actually of any benefit to anyone.  Perhaps it was an attack from the enemy because it came from feelings of low self worth and a lack of ability.

So why start writing again now.  The simple truth is that a few people have still encouraged me to start writing again but for another reason as well.  Two weeks ago I received an email through our church web site from a student in a Nazarene bible college in America who said that he had been following my sermons on line for three months and that he had been blessed by them.  So my thinking for 2017 has hopefully changed.  The thinking is this.  If what I write or say what I believe God would want me to and as a result just one person is blessed or helped in any way then it will have been worth while.  So friends I have finally taken my own advice and remembered the reason why I started writing and with the help of God I will keep on writing until he tells me to stop.

May you have a God blessed and peaceful and prosperous new year through Jesus our Lord and saviour.

Another year has quickly come to an end.  I wonder as the year 2016 came to an end if you took time to reflect over the events of the passing year.  Perhaps 2016 was a good year for you, a successful year, a fruitful year, a satisfying year.  Maybe 2016 was the year when you saw your prayers answered and some of your dreams come true.  If that was your experience then the likelihood is you will start the year 2017 with a positive mindset and a positive expectation for the new year that lies ahead.

What if that was not your experience in 2016.  Perhaps as you reflected on the passing year your experiences were not so favourable.  Maybe it seemed as if you achieved few if any successes, you may not be able to remember many prayers that seemed to be answered and rather than your dreams coming true perhaps your dreams were shattered.    Maybe you can remember more failures than successes and a lot more down times than up times.  If that was your experience in 2016 then entering a new year may not be with a positive mindset.

Enter the prophet Elijah.  Look at his words and apply them to your current situation in life and hopefully entering a new year will not be with negative feelings of fear and trepidation but with a positive attitude of trust, hope, faith and belief in the promises, provision and power of our great Abba father in heaven.  The only true living God who loves us so much that he sent his only son Jesus to save us and redeem us and through accepting his gift of salvation and eternal life be reconciled to our loving Heavenly Father.

Isaiah 43:16-19 This is what the Lord says— he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, who drew out the chariots and horses, the army and reinforcements together, and they lay there, never to rise again, extinguished, snuffed out like a wick: “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. 

​Listen to Elijah's words, "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past".  The year 2016 has passed, there is nothing we can do to undo the past.  If we are honest perhaps we would all like to undo somethings that happened in 2016 but we need to accept that we cannot and with the help of the Holy Spirit and the grace he gives us to forget the former things and not to dwell on them.

Constantly remembering our failures, our disappointments, our unfulfilled expectations and perhaps some hurts that wounded us to some extent will no be conducive to a positive and forward looking mindset in 2017.  

God's message through Eijah his prophet was to encourage his people, hence the words, "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland".

What new thing was God telling them he was going to do??  To make a way forward for them and provide for them in the wilderness and the wasteland.  If you are a true follower of Jesus I would suggest that at some point during your walk with Jesus you found yourself going through what many have referred to as "The wilderness experience".  A time when our prayers seemed to go unheard and unanswered.  A time when the presence of God seemed to allude us and barrenness seemed to be our lot.

Gods people had wandered in the wilderness and the wasteland needlessly for forty Long years.  Disobedience, disbelief, defiance, stubbornness, lack of trust all contributed to their needless wandering.  They made wrong choices, they listened to the bad and negative report brought back from the promised land instead of listening to the good and positive report brought back by Caleb and Joshua.

They focused on the giants in the land and as a result they adopted a grasshopper mentality.  How tragic and how sad.

Joshua and Caleb saw exactly the same Giants as the other ten explorers but they did not focus on them, they focused  on the size of the grapes, not on the size of the Giants.  In other words they saw the provision and blessings that God wanted to lead them into.  Their focus and trust was in the ability and size of their great God, in the sight of God those Giants were the real grasshoppers.

Maybe you wandered around in 2016 and did not enter in to what God had planned for your life.  That year has passed and has been assigned to history, you are now in a new year and God is Looking to do a new thing in your life.  God is saying to you, let go of 2016, "forget the former things, do not dwell on the past".  

Let the word of God be your map and your compass in 2017 and you can be confident of God's guidance, victory and support.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart And do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him, And He will make your paths straight and smooth, removing obstacles that block your way.  (Amplified bible)

As human beings we are bent towards doing things our way and wanting things our way.  When we come to learn and accept that Gods ways are always better and higher than our ways and that Gods ways are perfect, then our Christian life tends to work out for the better.



My prayer for you is that the year 2017 will be the year that you experience God doing a new and powerful work in your life and what was wilderness and wasteland experiences will be transformed into wonderful blessings.

The other side of the pulpit.  Life and death.

Once again a number of weeks have passed since my last blog and once again I apologise to those who do follow.  I have no real excuse for taking so long to start writing again.  If I wanted to I could come up with something I am sure but I don't want to start making excuses when there are none that I feel would be legitimate.

A lot has happened since my last blog, some things good, some great things and some things tragic and very sad. Knowing where to start is difficult for me because it involves sharing an experience that left me once again feeling very sad and somewhat confused.  I will not go into all of the details but once again a man from my past was involved.

This time it was from my recent past.  We had just finished a family BBQ and I had just sat down in the sunshine after clearing up.  Suddenly a man appeared before me coming through the gate to the Manse.  I did not recognise him at first because it looked as if he had not shaved for some days.  The man called me by my name but he somehow sensed that I did not recognise him straight away.  I am not very good remembering names but I am not bad with faces.  The mans unshaven face was making it difficult for me to place him.

Suddenly it came back to me, he was one of the men who used to come in to us in the drop in centre.  Approximately six years had passed since I had last spoken with him, I quickly told him that I had recognised him from the drop in centre but I could not remember his name.  He told me his name and I invited him to sit down in a chair beside me.  He apologised for troubling me and asked if we could talk about some things.  I said sure and he began to tell me of how his life was once again in a mess, his words not mine.

As I said earlier I will not go into all the details but something that had caused him great difficulty in the past had returned and it was costing him a lot in many different ways.  He asked if I could try and help him and I said I would try.  He shared some recent set backs with me and how he had sought help in another place but things did not work out for him.  He asked me if it would be okay for him to come to church on Sunday, Sunday being the next day.  I told him that he would be very welcome but that I would not be there as I had just started two weeks holidays.

He was not sure at all that he would be made welcome If I was not going to be there so I phoned one of our senior board members there and then and told him the mans name and to look out for him on Sunday and make him feel welcome.  I gave the man some advice and told him I would see him after the holidays.  He assured me that he would be in church the next day but when I checked I found out that he had not come.  I was disappointed because when we talked we had agreed that he had to be sincere and committed to seeking help but what he was suffering with seems to have prevented him from keeping his promise.

Three days later I received a phone call from a friend telling me that the man who had come to see me on Saturday was found dead in bed at his mothers home.  I felt numb, my friend on the phone did not know that he had called to see me three days earlier.  The deceased man was thirty years old and he left behind a wife and young baby as well as his mother and other family members.  I could not believe that our time together on Saturday would be the last on this earth.  I started to think could I have done more to help him but I chose not to fall into that pit.

On the day of his funeral some lovely tributes where given in memory of his life, someone mentioned that he was a troubled soul who had found peace and happiness for a time but tragically an addiction and illness returned and took him away from those who loved him.  That was the first of four funerals that I have attended since my last blog.  Two of the other three funerals where for people who had well exceeded the three score and ten, the third one was another great tragedy where a twenty one year old young man was found dead in his home by his father.

It has to be any parents worst nightmare to find their child dead.  I was asked by the young mans father if I would take the funeral service and I accepted.  I had never met the deceased young man and I knew that this would be a real challenge for me.  I was told to expect and prepare for a very large funeral service in the church and I sincerely thank all of our people in and outside the church who did a marvelous job of setting things up.

For family reasons the waiting period for the funeral service was longer than usual and after having visited the deceased's family I had much longer than usual to prepare for the service.  Right up to the day before the funeral service I could not settle on what scriptures to use or what to say in such devestating and tragic circumstances.  I was on my way home from an emergency hospital visit when I checked my phone for any missed calls because my phone was on silent in the hospital.  I recognised the number or another Pastor and good friend.  My immediate thought was that he was phoning concerning a preaching engagement that he was doing for me as we were due to take our final holidays before the new Autumn session.

My assumption was totally wrong.  This very caring and thoughtful Pastor was phoning to tell me that he was praying for me because he had heard about the funeral service I would be taking the next day and he knew that it would be very difficult for me.  I had not told anyone accept God that I was really struggling for what to say at the service but God must have revealed something to my friend as he said to me that if I did not already know what I was going to say The Lord would certainly give it to me.  My reply was I hope he gives it soon.  That call meant more to me than I can express in words.  On the way home from the hospital God gave me everything, the scriptures and the words.  I thank God with all of my heart for his faithfulness to me.  Later that evening I got a visit at the Manse from another Pastor and good friend, he too wanted to encourage me and pray for me.  We met together 8 am on the day of the funeral for prayer.

Our small church was packed like I have never seen it in nearly forty years.  There were broken hearted people everywhere.  God helped not just myself but I believe many others gathered for the service of tribute and remembrance for this young mans life that ended so tragically. Amazingly and all glory to God I did not feel nervous or overwhelmed with emotion in any way.  The Lord undertook and answered the prayers of many.

Some of my remarks during the service were around eternity and how the scriptures tell us that God has placed eternity in the heart of man and that we will either spend all of eternity with him or without him.  Four funerals in a relatively short space of time, someday someone will say something about us at our funeral service.  My prayer is that it can be said of us that we by the grace of God and salvation through Jesus will spend all of eternity in heaven with God our creator.  "IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL"


I have written this blog from the very hot and sunny Portugal.  I had promised myself that I was not going to do any church stuff until the end of our holidays but for some reason I felt compelled not to wait.

The other side of the pulpit.  Pain from the past.

My apologies to those of you who have been following my blog.  It has been a month since my last blog and there are reasons for that.  At the very beginning of starting what I believe God would have me do I stated that I would not put myself under any pressure and I would be open and honest with what I write.  The last four or so weeks have been difficult for a number of reasons but one in particular.

Sometimes in life we experience something that happens to us and we can find no explanation for it and the harder we try to understand the more confused we can become.  During the past four weeks I encountered one of those experiences.  I had no idea that a planned visit to see someone would leave me devastated and in some respect traumatised and struggling to cope with things.  The fact that I have been on holidays for the last two weeks has been very timely.

The deep hurt that came over me left me demoralised and not really wanting to engage with people, not a good way to feel for a Pastor.  Being at the other side of the pulpit has not changed the fact that like anyone else I hurt at times, I get disappointed at times.  Position does not make a Pastor immune to pain.  For the past two weeks I have tried to write this blog but was unable to do so until now.  Why now?

Two days ago I got a surprise visit from someone who was delivering something and as they were leaving they asked me how I was keeping.  I gave them the party line that I was fine and then corrected my lie by telling them that I had been struggling.  I shared only briefly with them because I had an appointment to keep but it was the first that I had shared any details with anyone and in sharing briefly I pray I can begin my recovery.

So what turned an ordinary planned visit into a nightmare?  The simple answer, a person from my past.  The person that I was visiting was an innocent participant in what would unfold.  They had absolutely no idea that what they were sharing with me was tearing me apart inside, so much so that I almost got up and ran out of the house.  They were sharing with me some of the things they and their old acquaintances got up to before they became a Christian and they mentioned someone from my past that had brought much pain and trouble to my family.

To be honest I cannot remember how much I referred to this person from the past in an earlier blog when I was sharing how my mother was somehow involved with this man and how she abandoned us for approximately a year according to my memory.  I can specifically remember hearing that she had gone to Sunderland but had no idea why.

There have been times in the past when I tried to guess as to why our mother would abandon us for that period of time, what would take her away from her husband and two young children, why would she go to Sunderland?  I don’t know why but I used to wonder did she go away and have a baby and then return home but this was pure guessing.  The truth was I did not know and it was unlikely that I ever would know.  I had asked God that if I had a brother or sister somewhere that I did not know about would he somehow make it known but I had no idea that something else would come to light.

As the person I was visiting continued to share innocently from his past I found myself getting angrier and angrier as I remembered vividly how one of the men he mentioned had hurt our family.  I don’t know for sure if this person had any part to play in my mother’s suicide but I always personally thought that he had some part to play in it.  Suddenly the person I was visiting mentioned that this man had a brother in Sunderland and he started to share a particular vice he was involved in.

It was as if Pieces of a lost jigsaw had been found and the picture was being completed before me.  I struggled to listen to the stories I was being told about this man’s brother in Sunderland, especially as there was a strong possibility that my mother may have been a victim in it.  My anger turned to devastation and feeling physically sick.  At this point I wanted to get up and run out of the house but this person would have been devastated if they thought that they were responsible for making me feel the way I did.

I had been in the person’s house coming up to two hours so I said it was time I went home.  Somehow God enabled me to pray before I left.  As I returned home my emotions were everywhere, I was glad my wife was already in bed because I did not want to try and explain the state I was in and why.  For days I could not get out of my mind what might have been happening to my mother during her time in Sunderland.  I tried to convince myself that it was just a coincidence that the man who was somehow involved with my mother had a brother in Sunderland and that she was somewhere else.  I have failed to convince myself.

Where do I go from here?  A number of weeks ago I preached a series on “The Snares of Satan”.  Satan has many snares that he uses to try and capture the children of God, he knows strategically where to place his snares for optimum devastation and sometimes we can innocently get caught up in one of them.  Today the Lord reminded me of some of the things that I preached during that series of messages and I believe Satan ensnared me in the pain of the past.

There are perhaps things in many people’s lives that have been left unresolved and we think that we are over them or have come to terms with them, that is until something new is revealed and old deep wounds are once again opened up.  The deeper the hurt the deeper the wound and it has been said that deep wounds take longer to heal.  Satan knows where we are most vulnerable, he knows precisely where to pick and try and open up old wounds.

Thank God that he can bind up and heal all our wounds, the problem is that sometimes we do not let him.  During this experience devastation and deep hurt has in some part kept me from coming to the great physician.  I am not going to try and spiritually psychoanalyse my experience and give advice accordingly.  What I will say is this, sometimes, suddenly and unexpectedly things from our past can surface in ways that can affect us deeply and devastatingly and we may not react the way we perhaps know that we should. 

Be careful if you get ensnared in the pain of the past, it can prevent you living for God now and trusting God with your future.     

“He heals the broken hearted and binds up all our wounds”

The other side of the pulpit.  People.

When Jesus went about preaching he was not confined or restricted to a pulpit.  We know that he preached and taught in many different locations.  Yes he preached and taught in the temple courts but he did the same on the mountain, on the sea, on the sea shore and in the streets.  Jesus the Good Shepherd loved people and had endless compassion and genuine care in his heart towards people, both crowds of people and individual people.


Jesus had a tremendous ability to know what was in the heart of people; he could not be deceived and taken in by people.

 Mark 2:1-8. “5When Jesus saw their faith; he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”  6Now some teachers of the law were sitting there, thinking to themselves, 7“Why does this fellow talk like that? He’s blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?”  8 Immediately Jesus knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts and he said to them, “Why are you thinking these things”?


Luke 6:6-11.  “6On another Sabbath he went into the synagogue and was teaching, and a man was there whose right hand was shrivelled. 7The Pharisees and the teachers of the law were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal on the Sabbath. 8But Jesus knew what they were thinking and said to the man with the shrivelled hand, “Get up and stand in front of everyone.” So he got up and stood there. 9Then Jesus said to them, “I ask you, which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to destroy it?”  10He looked around at them all, and then said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He did so, and his hand was completely restored. 11But they were furious and began to discuss with one another what they might do to Jesus”.


John 2:22-25. “23 Now while he was in Jerusalem at the Passover Feast, many people saw the miraculous signs he was doing and believed in his name. 24But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all men. 25He did not need man’s testimony about man, for he knew what was in a man”.

 
It is very interesting and perhaps surprising to read that Jesus would not entrust himself to people who the scripture says, “believed in his name”.  This ability that Jesus had meant that no one could dupe him or lead him up the garden path, it meant that he did not need to rely on second hand information about someone’s character or reputation.  He knew the motive of every heart, whether or not they were sincere and genuine or if they were hypocrites, play actors playing their religious games.


There was nothing that Jesus did not know about people and the games they played.  He knew that the treasurer Judas was dipping his hand into the pot and stealing from it.  He knew that this same man would one day betray him with a kiss.  He knew that the tough guy Peter would deny knowing him.  On another occasion crowds of people were welcoming him into Jerusalem shouting “hosanna, hosanna” and shortly after that perhaps many of that same crowd would be shouting, “crucify, crucify”.  Jesus loved people but some people caused him a great deal of pain and sorrow.


We may not possess the exact same ability that Jesus had to know what was in a person’s heart but the blessed Holy Spirit can give us a definite measure of wisdom and discernment when it comes to looking into another person’s heart and life.  By nature I think that I am somewhat naive when it comes to reading people.  I do not like to read or analyse individuals when I am listening to them or talking with them.   At one time it became almost natural for me to do so because of my counselling back ground but I try not to do that now.


I try not to be suspicious or wary of people but since the transition from the pew to the pulpit I sometimes struggle not to.  As a member of the other side of the pulpit people I have listened to a number of very sincere and committed servants of the Lord sharing some of their stories of betrayal, conspiracy and deceit by people whom they never thought such things were possible.  It has saddened me greatly to become aware that for many years I was not aware of the level of deep hurt and sorrow that some of those who profess to be Christ like inflict on their spiritual leaders.


Without going into any detail I have had my own experiences of people who have betrayed, conspired and deceived.  I would be a play actor if I pretended that those experiences did not affect me in any way.  They hurt me; they caused doubt, disappointment, discouragement, disillusionment and a certain amount of despair and distrust.  I was not long a pulpit person when I experienced some of these things and I was crying out to God for comfort and to help me cope.


The Lord as always answers and he did it as I was walking down a street in Lurgan town.  The verse that he chose to comfort and re-assure me was in Isaiah 54:17.  “No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.  This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from me,” declares the LORD”.  

 
A few days ago I listened to someone who described to me their feelings of being betrayed by people who they never expected could or would do that to them.  It left them feeling isolated, abandoned and alone.  I think that Jesus must have felt something like that when one of his disciples betrayed him with that kiss we talked about earlier; another of his disciples and closest friends denied three times that he even knew him and the rest of the bunch ran away and left him all alone, abandoned.  Sadly some people can use you and then loose you, this happens sometimes to pulpit people who invest time and effort in pew people for them to suddenly abandon ship as it were without any explanation.


There is very little if anything that pulpit people encounter with pew people that Jesus himself did not experience.  He is therefore well qualified to identify with us and help and encourage us to keep trusting and following him irrespective of how some people treat us.


Galatians 6:9-10.  “9Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers”.

Hebrews 12:3.  “3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart”.

 
If you are reading this and you have been betrayed, deceived and conspired against by some people please ask the Lord to help you look to him for encouragement and comfort and to believe that not all people will treat you that way.  Often when we are feeling dejected and down we cannot see the positives in the midst of the negatives.  Some years ago I read this little verse somewhere.


“Two men looked out behind prison bars,
One saw mud the other stars”.

Where are we looking?



Psalm 121

A song of ascents.

1    I lift up my eyes to the hills--

      Where does my help come from?

2    My help comes from the LORD,

      The Maker of heaven and earth.

3    He will not let your foot slip--

      He who watches over you will not slumber;

4    indeed, he who watches over Israel

      will neither slumber nor sleep.

5    The LORD watches over you--

      The LORD is your shade at your right hand;

6    the sun will not harm you by day,

      nor the moon by night.

7    The LORD will keep you from all harm--

      He will watch over your life;

8    the LORD will watch over your coming and going

          both now and forevermore.

                           

By the way when I refer to pew people I am talking about lay people and pulpit people Pastors and Ministers or whatever other name they may be called. 

The other side of the pulpit.  People.

If you have been following the blogs you might remember that when I worked in the big factory the Lord spoke to me and told me that he wanted me to stop working with machines and to start working with people.  I mentioned that at that time I had no idea how that would work out but as I look back over the last fourteen years of my life since the Lord brought me out of the factory I can see clearly the path the Lord took me down.

It started with me becoming a trained counsellor and working as a volunteer in a Christian counselling centre. Then I began working as a volunteer in a charity shop that sent out humanitarian aid to the Ukraine and supported churches, hospitals and orphanages.  I then went on to work voluntarily for three years in a drop in centre.  In each instance I was directly involved with interacting with people.

During those years I learned a lot about people and I am still learning.  Having sat in the pew for over thirty years I suppose it is ok to refer to those years as being a pew person.  Now that I have been at the other side of the pulpit for three and a half years it is probably ok to refer to myself as a pulpit person.  It has been an interesting transition from the pew to the pulpit.  I was going to say that you can imagine the change in perspective but in fact you cannot imagine what it is like unless you actually experience it.

During my thirty odd years in the pew I cannot recall ever trying to view church life from the point of view and perspective of my previous Pastors.  I took it for granted that when I went to the mid-week bible study the Pastor would be there with a prepared study.  The same applied to the two Sunday services, the Pastor would be there with two prepared sermons.  On reflection even though I stated earlier that I did not as far as I know make life difficult for any of my previous Pastors I would have to hold my hand up and honestly admit that by and large I took them for granted a lot of the time.

Recently the thought came to me of how many times during the week do God’s people think of church or their Pastor.  When I look back over my life in the pew I am shocked with my answer to that question.  I would suggest that for many pew people Sunday is the time to think about church and remember that they have a Pastor.  Having said that, in times of trouble or when circumstances are difficult the Pastor and the church may suddenly come to mind.

The night that I was almost killed in a terrorist ambush when three innocent people lost their lives somehow my Pastor found out about the shooting and that I had been caught up in it.  I can tell you that when he turned up at the hospital in the early hours of the morning I was very glad to see him.  Someone said to me recently that now that I am a Pastor I am more passionate for the church.  I went away and thought about that statement. 

My conclusions were both yes and no.  Let me try and explain.  As a young Christian I was taught how important bible study, prayer and attending God’s house twice on a Sunday was important to my Christian development and spiritual well being.  Throughout my thirty odd years in the pew I have always valued those things and attended them regularly.  When other pew people did not seem interested or deem them necessary for their spiritual well being and development it did not really affect me of bother me too much, all I need be concerned about was myself.

Now that I am a pulpit person I would be lying if I said that it does not bother me.  Not long after becoming the Pastor of the church I had a strange experience during one of our mid-week bible study-prayer meetings.  As we were singing one of the choruses before the study started, suddenly I began to see the faces of some of our church people above the empty seats.  I had never experienced anything like that before and it troubled me.  When we had finished singing the chorus I felt that I needed to share the experience with the people who were there. 

I tried to explain to them what I thought it meant.  I believe the enemy was trying to discourage and dishearten me by pointing out in a very vivid way all the people that perhaps could and should have been there but were not.  If that was the enemy’s intention then he had a measure of success but only a small measure.  I don’t think that I am any different than other Pastors concerning the apparent lack of interest among many of God’s people when it comes to the mid-week prayer and bible study meeting.

The devil loves us to focus on the negatives and overlook the positives.  I will share another true story about that in more detail later.  Praise God for his intervention when the enemy comes in like a flood.  As suddenly as the absent faces appeared suddenly they disappeared during the singing of the chorus and my attention was turned to the faces of the people who were there.  When we stopped singing and I was sharing the experience with the people I thanked them for coming and encouraged them in their commitment to the things of God that will help them to grow and become more mature in Christ.

When I was in the pew the absent faces would not have meant much if anything to me because I did not feel responsible for their lack of interest or commitment but I was not in the pew now, I was in the pulpit and I did feel somehow responsible for them.  The Good shepherd cares for the sheep.  Passion is personal, I cannot make anyone passionate.  Passion I believe comes from a true, strong inner desire or longing for something.

Many years ago when I was a lean, mean, fighting squash playing machine a man approached me and asked me if I would help him to become a better squash player.  I gladly accepted the challenge and suggested that first of all we should work on his physical fitness.  He agreed and I told him that I would call for him and we would train together.  The first night that we had arranged to train together was a cold winter’s night with a blizzard blowing.  I ran around to his house and rang the door bell.  He opened the door with a look of amazement almost as if he was looking at a ghost, having said that I could have looked like a ghost because I was covered in snow.  He was standing in his slippers and nothing else that he was wearing was suitable for the weather outside either.  He said that he did not think that I would train in those weather conditions.  I was a bit annoyed with his apparent change of heart as it was he who approached me looking for help.  Needless to say we never trained together and his squash career never got very far.

I said that I would come back to the true story of how the devil tries to get us to focus on the negative things and thereby miss the positives.  There was a period in my life when due to a number of difficult circumstances I felt very alone and disillusioned with my life.  I was praying for things to change and get better but they seemed to get worse.  I cannot remember where I was or what I was doing but the Lord spoke to me once again through a very vivid picture scene.

He took me back to a real event in my life when I was at Technical College.  I was in the art room and the art teacher knew that I had no interest in art so he asked me if I wanted to take a camera and go to the local park which was not far away and take some pictures.  I think I was out the door before he knew that the camera had been snatched from his hands.  I love being outdoors with nature all around so I had a great time.

When I returned he asked me if I would like to see how the film would be developed, once again I was in the dark room before he blinked.  When I had an interest in something I did not need persuading, I moved to it quickly.  Sadly there were not many things that I moved quickly to in school, anything to do with sport being the exception.  He showed me the process that the film negatives had to go through before they finally became a picture.

The Lord took this real event from my past and was now spiritualising it to help me to understand what was happening in my life at that moment in time.  He showed me that I was going through a process of spiritual development but I could not see it because I saw my circumstances as negative and dark, I could not see the positive things that God was doing in my life.  Wow what a way to be shown how God’s hand was with me leading me and guiding me.  Some of those circumstances have helped prepare me for the other side of the pulpit.  When I meet people who are struggling with circumstances and trouble in life I can encourage them that there is a reason and a purpose in it and that God in his time will put them in the picture and they will understand and be blessed.   

The other side of the pulpit.  People.

Long before I was called to be a Pastor I can remember someone saying to me that being a Pastor would be the best job in the world but for one thing, people.  I suppose then that being a shepherd would be a great job also if there were no sheep to care for.  There would be no lost and wandering sheep track down and return safely to the sheep fold.  There would be no trekking through wind, rain and snow to rescue the lost and bewildered sheep from danger and death.  There would be no sheep or little lambs to untangle from barbed wire and fences.   In other words it would perhaps be seen as a cushy little number but it would be totally pointless and meaningless to be a shepherd.

Pastors need people and people need Pastors.  Shepherds need sheep and sheep need shepherds.  I know that sounds obvious but there are times when perhaps the Pastor and the shepherd who have been under constant pressure wished the people and the sheep would go away and leave them alone for a time of rest.  Jesus described himself as the good shepherd.  “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.”  (John 10:11) 

“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me—15just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep.”  (John 10:14-15)

I have just finished writing an article for our church bulletin and I am looking at some be’s in the bible, not the honey bees.  The scripture that I was looking at was in Joshua ch1.  Moses the servant of the Lord was dead and The Lord was preparing Joshua to take his place.  Joshua if you like had been Moses right hand man, he had served him faithfully when others doubted and rebelled against him.  It was Joshua and Caleb who were the only two spies among the twelve who were sent by Moses to spy out the Promised Land before them who brought back a good and positive report.

There is no doubt that Moses did not have an easy task leading the children of Israel towards the Promised Land.  Time and time again the people rebelled against both him and God, they mumbled, grumbled and complained continually.  At one point they even wanted to stone him and return to Egypt where they had been so cruelly treated and abused as slaves.  They were quick to forget the miracles that the Lord had performed to rescue them and protect them from their enemies; they were thankless, ungrateful, uncaring and opposed Moses leadership and the Lord’s commands with blatant disregard.

These were the people that Joshua was now going to lead and shepherd into the Promised Land.  I don’t know exactly what was going through Joshua’s mind at the prospect of leading these people but I can imagine how I might have felt.  Since coming into the ministry full time I have had many opportunities to meet with colleagues from within my own denomination but also from others outside.  I have listened to my colleagues who have been in full time ministry much longer than I have and have sought to learn from their experiences and Godly advice.

One of the things that has shocked me and saddened me the most is the number of leaders who have suffered either partial or complete burn out or emotional breakdowns during their ministry.  I truly admire those Christian leaders who are brave and honest enough to share their stories of heartache, disappointment, discouragement, disillusionment, doubt and sometimes distress.  Having experienced both sides of the pulpit I now have a clearer but certainly not complete understanding of the dynamics of both positions.  Having been a lay person for thirty five years and a Pastor for almost four most of my church experience is from outside the pulpit.

When I was being Interviewed by the Board of Ministry before taking up the position as Pastor of the Lurgan church I suddenly realized that two of the men on the panel were previous Pastors of mine in the Lurgan church.  I could have felt very awkward and perhaps worried if I had recalled anything that I had done to make the lives of these two servants of God difficult during their time at Lurgan but the reality was that I did not feel awkward or worried one little bit.  I have always respected and tried to work with and assist wherever I could the Pastors whose ministry I sat under.  That does not mean to say that there were never any differences of opinion between some of us but to the best of my knowledge I never intentionally made life difficult for any of my previous Pastors.

In fact at the end of my first interview with the board of ministry I was asked if I would like to ask any questions.  I asked only one question, I had not prepared any questions and on reflection the question that I asked could have left me feeling not too good if my memory had let me down and I was mistaken concerning how I had treated these two previous Pastors of mine.  The question I asked was addressed to my former Pastors, I asked them if during their time at Lurgan I had ever made life difficult for them or treated the wrongly.  At that time I did not know why I had asked that specific question but later on I think I figured it out.  To my delight and relief they both affirmed that they could not remember me saying or doing anything that might have hindered their ministry at Lurgan. 

When I later reflected on the question that I had asked and why had I asked it my heart and mind were at ease because it would have truly troubled me had their answer been different and I had somehow hindered their ministry or made life difficult for them.  There are various accounts of times when Moses faced unwarranted criticism and opposition from people and there are still many Christian leaders today who face opposition and criticism that is not warranted.  Throughout the book of Exodus we read different accounts of the times when the Israelites would not listen to Moses and the messages that he was relaying to them from God.  Moses is not with us today but God still uses his servants to relay his messages through his word to people and many people will still not listen.  There are those who hear God’s message but choose not to heed it.    

We all have breaking points and Moses the servant of God was no different.  We read that the Israelite community were once again mumbling and grumbling and opposing both Moses and his brother Aaron because they were running out of water.  Moses had reached that place where Christian leaders try hard not to go, breaking point.  The Lord told Moses to speak to the rock and water would be poured out but Moses had reached that point where he could take no more of the people’s criticism, opposition and constant rebellion and instead of speaking to the rock he strikes it twice with his staff.  The water gushed out but Moses was not granted permission to lead the people into the Promised Land because of his action. (Numbers ch 20)

With all of this back ground knowledge of the people is it any wonder that the Lord wanted to give the new leader of the people encouragement, instructions and promises to help him through what would lie ahead.  See how many be’s you can find in these verses that the Lord gave to Joshua.  Perhaps they are for you as well.

Joshua 1

1 After the death of Moses the servant of the LORD, the LORD said to Joshua son of Nun, Moses’ aide: 2“Moses my servant is dead. Now then, you and all these people, get ready to cross the Jordan River into the land I am about to give to them—to the Israelites. 3 I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses. 4 Your territory will extend from the desert to Lebanon, and from the great river, the Euphrates—all the Hittite country—to the Great Sea on the west. 5 No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.

6 “Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. 7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

The other side of the pulpit.

I have been a born again Christian for just over thirty nine years now.  I asked Jesus into my life at the ripe old age of sixteen and have never once during those thirty nine years regretted making that decision.  It was the decision that completely changed the course of my life.  I shudder to think what my life might have turned out like but for Jesus rescuing me from Satan, sin and self.  I mentioned in my last blog that I felt this was the way the Lord would have me to continue the blog and to be really honest I do not know exactly what shape it will take.  My prayer and heart’s desire is that it takes the form and shape of whatever God wants it to take.

Thirty five of my thirty nine years as a Christian, a follower of Jesus, have been spent as a lay person in the church and the other four as the Pastor of the Lurgan church or the Nazarene.  I am experiencing life from both sides of the pulpit.  During my thirty five years as a lay person I have endeavoured to live my life and serve my Saviour in the way that pleases him most and honours his name.  There have been times when I did not please and honour my Saviour; there have been times when like the Apostle Peter I followed at a distance, and like Peter there have been times when I wept bitterly.  Sometimes my life could have been described as being like those people Jesus referred to in the Church of Laodicea, hot, cold or lukewarm.

There are many wonderful attributes that God possesses that I don’t.  I would like to have them as a true part of my personality but to suggest that I fully possess them would be some statement to make.  The two that I have particularly in mind are God’s Unconditional Love and God’s Unfailing Love.  Most of us would probably agree that it is relatively easy to love people who love us and cause us no pain, hurt or harm but it is certainly not as easy to love those people who may cause us pain, hurt and harm.  Jesus never stopped loving those who caused him to suffer at their hands; he cried out to his father that he would forgive them for doing so.

After Peter had denied that he knew Jesus three times he was not discarded and dumped as a failure by Jesus.  Jesus had warned him of what would take place but Peter could not conceive that he could deny his Lord.  In John ch 21 we read the beautiful story of Jesus re-affirming his love for Peter, three times Jesus asked Peter did he love him and three times Peter declared that he did.  Jesus then commissioned him to feed his sheep and feed his lambs.  Jesus forgives and forgets our failings.  He knows far better than we do just how weak a vessel we really are.  He also knows the intent and motives of our heart.  He knows when we genuinely seek to serve him as best we can through his amazing grace and by the power of his Holy Spirit.    

He also knows when we are play acting like the hypocritical Pharisees that he often rebuked and exposed.  I shared a story with someone the other day about a little boy who got himself into a lot of trouble at home.  His mother smelt something burning in the house and finally traced the smell and the thickening smoke to the kitchen.  It seemed as if the oven was on fire but she could not work out how it could be as she had not placed anything in it.  When she turned the oven off and opened the door there before her was a pair of her husband’s slippers burnt to a crisp.

It was not difficult to track down the culprit as there were only two people in the house at that time, herself and her young son.  The young boy was upstairs playing when his mother found him; she scolded him and disciplined him.  She told him that there would be worse to come when his father returned home and saw what he had done to his favourite slippers.  I am sure the young boy was dreading the front door opening and what would soon follow.  As expected his father rushed up the stairs and demanded that his young son try and explain his actions.

Through a stream of tiny tears the fathers’ young son told him that he did not mean to burn and destroy his favourite slippers.  He went on to explain to him that because it was so cold outside he had put his slippers into the oven to warm them up for him coming home but he forgot about them.  The father lifted his son in his arms and told him to stop crying and that everything was ok, he thanked his son for his thoughtfulness.  Sometimes when we sincerely try to do good things they sometimes turn out wrong.  Our heavenly father knows our heart and our motives.  He will not punish us for innocent mistakes.  Love conquers all.

Sadly we see today many instances where love has failed.  During my counselling years I encountered married couples who on their wedding day pledged to love one another till death parted them but it was not death that was parting them.  One woman once told me that for her divorce was worse than death because her husband was still alive but another woman was sharing his love and not her.  Jesus tells us about a church in Ephesus where some people had forsaken their first love, meaning their love for him.  Many people have promised and pledged their love to each other for life and many have broken their promise and pledge.  God will not, cannot break his promise of unfailing love to us.  God is love.

Some years ago during another counselling session with a married couple who lived some distance away from Lurgan I encountered for the first time someone who was desperate not to let their marriage and love for their spouse fail.  The thing that touched my heart was that their spouse did not seem to mind if the marriage failed or not.  They did not appear to share the desire or commitment to work their differences out.  One would talk of their love for the other but the other did not appear to reciprocate that love towards them.  I can’t say what was causing their love to fail; I can’t say whether or not the one who was reluctant to try and work things out was in love with someone else.  I do know that when they left me one of them was a lot sadder than the other.

This reminds me of the time when a rich young man came up to Jesus and asked him one of life’s most important if not the most important questions that anyone could ever ask.   

As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”  “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. You know the commandments: ‘Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, do not defraud, honour your father and mother”. “Teacher,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a boy.” Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.

Jesus looked at this sincere young man and loved him; he wanted to have a living relationship with him.  He gave him the answer to his question but the young man still went away sad because he could not love Jesus more than his great wealth.  Dear friends how often has the love of money ruined people’s lives, how often has their money left them high and dry?  Jesus offers us his unconditional unfailing love but if we do not accept it there is nothing he can do except watch us go away from him sad.   

Experiencing life from the other side of the pulpit is many things.  The thing that strikes me is that I do not see myself as being any different irrespective of what side of the pulpit I am standing.  My desire to seek and serve God has not really changed except for the responsibilities of preparing two sermons and a bible study each week.  Yes I have more people that I have to visit, I have people that come to me to be married, I have the responsibility of conducting funerals and there are a list of other things that I am responsible and accountable for but I am the same person who just wants to be who God wants me to be and do what he wants me to do.

I am who I am.  I do not put myself under pressure by aspiring to become someone who I am not meant to be.  I am learning that not everyone will be happy with me or even accept me for who I am.  I have had the tendency at times to be a people pleaser and have discovered that to be very stressful and not conducive to my well being.  It is very liberating when one discovers that no matter how hard you try to please people that there will inevitably be those who will never be satisfied or pleased with what you do or who you are.  The Lord Jesus lived a spotless life and yet there were people who conspired to kill him, people told lies about him; they even accused him of being the Devil.  They eventually killed him but he arose again.  He did not waver in fulfilling the mission that his heavenly father had given him to complete, neither should anyone else who has been called and sent by God.    

Being a Pastor is for me a privilege beyond what I can describe, I did not choose to be a Pastor, God called me to be a Pastor.  With privilege comes responsibility and accountability.  My first Pastor in the Nazarene church once said that if God calls you to be a Pastor do not stoop to be a king.  I am not a king but I am an adopted son of the king of kings.  Praise his holy name. 

What next.

So far I have shared my story from childhood to being called into full time ministry, so what next?  A few people have asked me if I have any plans to make the blog into a hard copy.  I had not really thought about that until people started asking me.  I don’t know anything about how to do that personally but I have some friends who may be able to point me in the right direction.

Having never attempted anything like this before it is important that I seek good advice from others who know me and also have some experience of the does and don’ts.  I do not know if what I have written already has enough content in it to produce a hard copy, hopefully I will find out soon and proceed accordingly.  Perhaps those of you who have kindly followed the blog to date would like to share your thoughts through the church web site by going to the home page and click on contact us. 

Sometimes the Lord will speak to me through showing me pictures of things in my mind and often I see the title of a sermon before I start to work on it.  Some time ago I was having a conversation with someone and at one point during the conversation I said innocently that I could write a book on what we were discussing.  The person took me completely by surprise when they replied, “Why don’t you”?  The thought of it frightened me.  There is a title that I believe God has shown me and I feel that he would want me to continue this blog under the title, “The other side of the Pulpit”.

 During this past week someone who I know well contacted me and asked me how I overcame the fear of failure in my life. I had to be honest with them and tell them that I am not sure if I have fully overcome it.  A couple of weeks ago I conducted my second wedding, the first wedding was in the church the second was outside the church at a beautiful hotel.  There were quite a few guests in the room where the wedding was to take place, some of the people I knew but the vast majority were complete strangers to me.  I had prayed about the wedding and had asked my friends in and outside my church to pray for me.  I was petrified that somehow I would mess up and ruin the wedding for this lovely couple and their families.

I truly felt God’s presence with me and all the comments after the wedding service were kind and positive.  Fear of failure has paralysed my life in the past and has prevented me at times from entering into God’s Promised Land for my life.  The difference between now and then is that even though the feeling of fear is real and powerful, the belief that God will help me through is even more powerful.  Fear paralyses faith enables.  When the twelve spies were sent out to spy out the land and they came across the giants in the land ten of the twelve spies were afraid and gave a negative report to Moses and the people.

They were if you like part of the CAN’T family.  Fear of the giants had paralysed their thinking, they themselves could not overcome the giants but they had somehow forgotten that God had promised to give the land to them.  All they had to do was walk into it and trust him to sort the giants out.  When young David faced the Giant Goliath that was exactly his attitude.  People were scoffing at him, including family members, they were telling him what he couldn’t do but he knew what God could do through him.  He knew that the battle was the Lords, he did not need King Saul’s armour.

It is interesting to note in that story that the Kings armour was not suitable for David.  It did not fit him.  Whatever battle the Lord sets before us we can be certain that he will fit us for the battle.  What suits others will not suit you but you will be given tailor made resources for your situation.  When the battle is the Lords the battle is won.  David and the two spies who brought back a positive report concerning the Promised Land were a part of what I like to call the CAN FAMILY.  The CAN’T family did not enter into the Promised Land, the CAN family did.  David knew he could defeat the giant because God was with him, Joshua and Caleb knew that they could defeat their giants because God was with them also.  

I was asked during an interview with a panel of Ministers how I handled failure.  It was a question that I had never encountered before in my life.  I felt a bit under pressure because I was trying to think of a specific failure that I could apply an answer to.  I struggled to come up with a specific situation where I had failed and what I had done in that situation.  The problem was not that I had never failed but how I had reacted to the failure.  For some reason my mind went off in an entirely different direction and before I knew it I was asking a question to the panel.

The question that I asked the panel was to “Define failure”?  As I asked the question the Lord once again decided to speak to me with a very vivid scene.  In the scene I was lined up with Usain Bolt, the quickest sprinter in the world.  The starting pistol fired and we both went flat out down the track.  As we crossed the finish line there was quite some distance between us and surprise surprise I finished behind Usain.  When I crossed the finish line I had no sense whatsoever of feeling that I had somehow failed by coming second to the fastest sprinter in the world.

I am not sure if the people in the room understood why I asked that question because I was not sure at that moment in time why I asked it.  Eventually it started to make sense to me.  The simple application to what God had shown me was this. The most important thing was not winning the race but running the race.  The writer to the Hebrews talks about running with perseverance the race marked out for us.  (Heb 12:1-3)  He goes on to encourage us to fix our eyes on Jesus so that we will not grow weary and loose heart.

 I think what God was trying to teach me was to keep running the race that he has marked out for me no matter what my or others perception of failure might be.  When Jesus asked Peter to step out of the boat and he began to walk on the water towards Jesus as long as he fixed his eyes on Jesus he did not sink beneath the waves.  It was only when he took his eyes of Jesus and focused on the storm all around him that he began to sink.  A laps does not make us a failure.  Peter had a few lapses during his service for Jesus. 

Jesus did not say to Peter, “You of no faith”, he said to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt”?  A little faith will get you out of the boat, no faith will keep you in it.  When you exercise muscles they will grow and when we exercise faith our trust in God will grow.  Personally I really pray to God that he will make me and keep me a member of the CAN FAMILY.  I have spent too many years in the past as a member of the CAN’T FAMILY.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”.