The interview.

After receiving the call from the Lurgan church I was asked to attend an interview with the district superintendent and the regional director.  I am usually quite nervous before interviews but on this occasion I was not too bad.  On this occasion my confidence was not dependent on my ability but it was based on what I believed to be God’s call and his purpose and plan for my life.  What a difference it makes when you really believe that you are living in the centre of God’s will for your life.

The interview took place in a relaxed atmosphere in the sun room and home of one of the board members of the church.  I cannot remember all the questions that I was asked but I answered them all with openness and honesty.  I was asked about what I had been doing in my life up to this point and I shared the amazing journey that God had taken me on to get me to this junction in my life.  I shared how as a young Christian in the church I had a desire to serve God and work for him in whatever way he chose.  Over the years I had went out to the altar many times to present my life to God for whatever he might want to do with it.

I explained how God had called me out of secular work to work with people and how afraid I was to take that step of faith but God worked it out in a wonderful way.  I shared how step by step God’s preparation plan for my life unfolded through counselling, working for a mission, and six years of voluntary work, the last three spent working in a drop in centre meeting people every day.  The District superintendent asked me how many times I would normally preach in a year and the simple answer was as often as I would be asked.  I had received my local minister’s licence before we left the church for four and a half years and would probably average around ten or so preaching engagements a year.

He asked me how I thought I would manage to prepare two sermons and a bible study each week.  I had been preparing for the bible study in the centre for approximately three years but two sermons a week plus all the duties and responsibilities of being a full time Pastor would be quite a challenge.  I told him that I believed without doubt that God would equip and enable me through the power of the Holy Spirit to carry out everything necessary to Pastor the church.  If I had not believed that with all my heart I would not have accepted the call from the church.  I told the two men about different circumstances in my life that I believed had brought me to this place and I think I left the two dreams that had been fulfilled to the last.

During the interview I told the two men that I never expected to be back in the Lurgan church again never mind being considered to come back as their Pastor.  I had settled in Lurgan Elim church and had the privilege of serving there as missions secretary as well as working in other church activities.  When I told my Pastor that I had been called back to the church I attended when I was sixteen he was delighted for my wife and I.  We had a lovely sending forth from our dear friends in Lurgan Elim on the last Sunday morning that we were there.  It was very precious to us both.

On the first of November 2010 I officially became the Pastor of the Lurgan church of the Nazarene.  It was quite an emotional experience for the both of us.  It almost seemed like a dream or a fairy tale come true.  I struggled to take it all in, the journey from meeting Pastor Spence at my front door at the age of sixteen and now thirty six years later I have become his Pastor.  No one could have written that story but God.  When we moved into the Manse we invited Mr and Mrs Spence around for tea one evening and we reflected together the many times my wife and I along with a large group of other young people sat there in the Pastors bible studies.

One of the most memorable nights of our lives was the night of our induction service into the church as Pastor and Pastors wife.  A good friend of mine hired a man to video record the service and projected it into the big hall in the church.  The main sanctuary was filled to capacity with extra seats and the overflow was into the big hall.  When my friend suggested videoing the service and projecting it onto a screen in the other hall I thought he was crazy but he knew more than I did.  Both our family members turned up in numbers, I was pleasantly surprised by some of my side of the family who turned up.  A few of them I had no recollection of ever going to church.  To see the large number of family and friends gathered there that night was unbelievable.  Some of my friends from the church who had gone to Bible College attended the service and took part in it one way or another.

I was now the Pastor of the church that we were married in 1979.  It was no fairy tale or dream it was a wonderful reality that God sometimes chooses the weak things of the world to confound the wise.  I felt so unworthy of this awesome privilege to be called to be the Pastor of my home church.  I do not have the words to adequately describe my feelings and emotions on that night and even now at times.  It seemed impossible that this could ever take place but our God is the God of the impossible.

Dear friend, who knows where God wants to take you.  God has a divine plan for our lives.  Who knows the heights to which God can take us if we can believe in him, trust him and be obedient to him.  All glory to God.

The call and the circumstances.

When it comes to the things of God I do not believe in luck or good fortune.  I believe that the sovereign Lord is in control or absolutely everything concerning my life.  It is often through reflecting over our past experiences that we begin to see and understand the divine workings and purposes of God that are at work in our lives.  Present circumstances and situations may not make sense to us, we sometimes hear people talk about not knowing what lies ahead or not knowing what is just around the corner.

One of my favourite characters in scripture is Joseph the son of Jacob.  I see him as an innocent young man who is perhaps a little naive and a little arrogant.  He knows that he is his father’s blue eyed boy and his father’s open demonstration of his favouritism when he gave him the coat of many colours probably fed his young ego.  It is never a good thing to favour one of our children over another.  I know that in reality some children seem to be closer to one parent than the other, some parents seem to have a closer relationship with one child over the other or others.

There are various reasons for this but the end result is often with someone feeling hurt, bitter, jealous or not loved.  Family dynamics can be complicated if one child is perceived to receive preferential treatment over the others.  I can remember someone telling me that they felt unloved by their parents because their sibling had better grades and they got the treats and encouragement for achieving academically when they themselves struggled at school.  Sporting fathers can sometimes favour the child that is sport orientated over the one who has no interest in sport whatsoever.  Usually they are not aware that they prefer one child over another.

Showing favouritism and preferential treatment to one child over another is a recipe for disaster.  Joseph’s brothers resented and hated him to the point where some of them were prepared to kill him.  Feelings of rejection and neglect can stir powerful emotions in people which sometimes lead to what some call crimes of passion.  Thankfully only a very few carry out murder but they will react negatively in some way towards their parents and siblings.  I wonder how many children who have been labelled with having behavioural problems are simply feeling unloved or loved less because they are perceived as not being as bright as their brother or sister.  As a result they look for ways to get their parents attention, often with negative behaviour.  Perhaps it would be a good idea if there were classes to teach parents what it means to love unconditionally.  Many children and young people as well as parents would perhaps be much happier.   

For me the life story of Joseph displays perfectly how present circumstances cannot reflect what will happen in our future.  When Joseph’s brothers dumped him into a pit I am sure Joseph was not looking forward to a bright future.  When they sold him into slavery his prospects had not improved.  When his employer’s wife falsely accused him of a sexual assault and he was sentenced to two years in jail he was not thinking this will look good on my CV.  His circumstances were far from good but there was a good God controlling everything.

Joseph could not see what was just around the corner.  He had asked one of the men who was with him in prison to remember him when he was released.  It was not until two years later that the man remembered him and mentioned to the king that Joseph had rightly interpreted his dream.  There were times in my life when I thought God had forgotten about me but he was working to his plan and his time schedule.  There are times when people forget about us but God will remember us every single day of our lives.

I think I have said this before but it is worth saying again because it is so important to understand it.  There will be many times when we cannot trace the hand of God working in our lives but during those times we can and must trust his heart.  I would loved to have been able to interview Joseph towards the end of his life and ask him about his journey through life that brought him to the pit, then to be a slave in Potiphar’s  house, then to prison for two years and finally to the Kings palace where he was second to the King.  From there he rescued his entire family from starvation and was re-united with his family, including his brothers who had treated him so badly.  That is some life story and God is still writing our life story.  Who knows what is just around the corner.  What may seem to be a disaster to you and me may be the Lord just taking us a step further down the road and in the direction that he has planned for our lives. 

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts”.  Isaiah 55:8-9.

Joseph could proclaim to his brothers, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives”.  God’s intentions for our lives are only good always; the problem for us is that we often cannot comprehend God’s intensions for us when we are facing difficult circumstances and trying situations.  This is where the verse in Romans 8:28 becomes so important to us.  “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”.   

If God has called you and your circumstances are not what you would like them to be it does not mean that God does not care or that he has forgotten you.  The likelihood is that you are still in God’s preparation room.  If we look at the life of Jesus we will see that he began his earthly ministry around the age of thirty and he then ministered for three years before completing his mission on earth and returning to his heavenly father.  We would not want a partly prepared surgeon to perform major surgery on us; neither does God send out partly prepared people to carry out his divine purposes.  God does not keep his people in the waiting room because he is cruel; he keeps us there until we are ready.

One door shuts and another door opens.

The drop in centre closed in November 2010 and in the following months I spent much time seeking God for his future plans for my life.  Once again I found myself in the position where I had to be still and wait on God.  I had been there before and did not find it easy, I thought that it would be easier waiting this time round but it was not.  As I said before, I am a doer by nature and God will often allow us to experience things again and again until we have been taught whatever lesson he wants to teach us.

One Sunday morning during church I felt particularly restless in my heart.  I found myself questioning God as to why he had seemingly not answered my prayers concerning letting me know his future plans for my life.  The Pastor was talking about the Lord sending Samuel to find the man who he had chosen to replace King Saul.  Samuel was a powerful and faithful prophet of the Lord but he too still had lessons to learn in life.

When Samuel saw Eliab he thought, “Surely the Lord’s anointed stands here before the Lord”.  (1 Samuel 16:6-7).  Samuel was basing his choice on what he saw in the physical appearance of Eliab, he looked the part as far as Samuel was concerned but the Lord was about to show Samuel that he is not impressed by outward appearances.  The Lord told Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him.  The Lord does not look at the things people look at.  People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart”.

The future King was out in the fields working in obscurity, out of the lime light and looking after sheep.  Humanly speaking he was off the radar but he was not of God’s radar.  The Pastor went on to say that when God has a work planned for your life it does not matter where you are or what you are doing, he knows exactly where to find you when the time is right.  He said that we don’t need to jump up and down to try and get the Lords attention; he sees exactly where we are and he knows exactly what we are doing.

That was the word that I needed to hear and God re-affirmed to me that delay is not denial, the fact that I could not see him working did not mean that he was not planning and working out my future.  Seven or eight months after this I received a call on a Thursday from one of the board members of my previous church, he was a little desperate as he had found out that the person who was to speak in his church that Sunday was in Florida on holidays. 

He was very honest and told me that he had tried everyone on a list of speakers that he had but due to the short notice none of them were available to help and I was not on his original list.  He told me that another Pastor who he had contacted gave him my name because I had spoken recently at his church.  When we moved on from the church we did not relinquish our membership and we had not become members of the new church that we had been attending for four and a half years.  I agreed to come and take the morning and evening services.

I can honestly say that when my wife and I went back to the church there was no feeling of awkwardness or anything negative.  It was good to renew old acquaintances and friendships that had been formed over thirty years.  I mentioned earlier that when we left the church we did so very quietly and there was no animosity between us and the church.  I found out that the Pastor of the church had moved on and the church was actively looking for a new Pastor.  At this point I had no inclination of what would transpire a few months later.

A few weeks later the church contacted me again and asked if I could help out with some preaching dates and I gladly accepted.  Even though I had been told twice over a two year period by two people who had no contact with each other that I would one day become the Pastor of the Lurgan Nazarene church I still had no real belief that it would actually come to pass.  When I went to preach my belief was that I was just helping the church out until they found a replacement for the Pastor who had moved on.

Some may think that I must have had some sense of what God was doing but the truth is I did not at that time.  I would say that I felt that way because I did not believe that I was qualified to become a Pastor of any church never mind the church that I had grown up in from the age of sixteen.  I still carried with me the feelings of inadequacy, low self worth and low self esteem from my teenage years.  I believed that I was just helping out the church until they found the right person.

Towards the end of the summer the church asked me if I would block book the whole month of October and preach for them which I did.  I knew that there were people coming to preach with a view to a call but I still did not believe that I was one of those people being considered for the Position of Pastor.  It was not until nearly the end of October that the church asked me if I would consider coming back to the church as their Pastor.  

It was then that I began to take the two dreams seriously.  I was genuinely surprised and shocked that the church would deem me suitable to be their new Pastor.  I was trying to figure out in my mind how this could possibly be happening to me now.  When I was in my late teens I was willing to go to college and study to become a Pastor but I was fifty two now and could not see how things could work out.  I had lots of questions in my mind but very few if any answers.

I talked things over with my wife, my Pastor and trusted friends and the Lord of course and the feeling was that God had been preparing my life for ministry for over thirty years.  It was not the conventional method of preparation for full time ministry but God does things his way and not our way.  The Lord reminded me of the story in Samuel where he thought someone was suitable to fill a position but the Lord told him in effect that he was using the wrong criteria to make his choice.  He was acting on what his visible sight was telling him but God was looking into the heart and acting on what he found there.  In 1 Samuel 13:14 we read Samuel stating that, “The Lord has sought out a man after his own heart”.  It turned out that man was young David the shepherd boy.  I doubt if David envisaged the day that he would stop being the shepherd of sheep and instead would become the King of Israel.

As I prayed to the Lord and reflected over the experiences that I had encountered in my life up till that time I believed that this call was of God and whatever lay ahead he would be with me to lead me and guide me.  If I had not believed that whole heartedly I would not have accepted the call to be the Pastor of the Lurgan church of the Nazarene.

Working in the Drop in Centre.

As the weeks went by more and more people seemed to become aware of the centre and what we were about.  Soon we had people who would visit regularly and the centre perhaps became a sort of life line for them.  Those people who lived alone seemed to particularly value a place where they were made to feel welcome and could choose to sit quietly or perhaps share what was on their minds usually over a cup of tea or coffee.

The building had a great purpose built coffee bar and with the soft seats as well as tables and chairs it made a comfortable environment where people could relax in a safe loving atmosphere.  Someone suggested that we should start a bible study as there were a number of Christians who popped in quite regularly so we did.  Alongside the bible study we provided a simple meal for whoever attended the study.  New comers were made very welcome and were presented with a free study bible.  I am not sure how many bibles we gave out free but there were a good number.

During the three years that the centre was open a couple of Christian business men contacted us concerning helping those who we had come into contact with.  One gave finances to use where we felt the greatest need was.  Another gave us gift vouchers for food as well as paying for heating oil for those who were struggling financially.  Others would pop in from time to time and give a donation towards the work.  The first person who came into the centre and later gave his life to the Lord was a great help looking after the food for Thursdays.  It amazes me as I look back over those three years to see how God brought people together to work for him who had no idea that we would one day meet and become close friends and co- workers for the Lord.

I don’t know how many lives were impacted for the Lord during the three years in the centre, eternity will tell but there are a few people in particular who whenever I see them my heart leaps for joy because of how God has wonderfully transformed their lives.  Working in the centre taught me many things about people, life, and how God can work all things out if we will come to him and allow him to do what only he can do.  The centre was God’s Idea, not mine or anyone else’s and because it was his idea he was bound to look after it and those he called to help with the work in it.

Someone has said that all good things must come to an end.  I don’t really agree with that statement.  God’s goodness, God’s unconditional love, God’s faithfulness and many other things concerning God will never come to an end.  Having said that there are some good things that come to an end and working in the centre for me was coming to an end.  The Pastor who gave me the keys to his building once said to me that he could not do the work that I did in the centre.  My reply to him was that I could not do it either except the Lord had called me and equipped me to do it.

I sensed in my heart that The lord was telling me to move on but once again there was no immediate direction as to where.  I shared what I was feeling with those closest to me both at home and those who I worked alongside in the centre.  There were mixed feelings as to why God would move me on whenever the centre was going well and the Lord was blessing people through it.  I did not have the answer to that but I was not going to do anything until the Lord had made it clear to me what his will was.  As I prayed and sought God for guidance I believe he directed me to a verse in Daniel 1:5.  The second half of the verse said, “They were to be trained for three years and after that they were to enter the Kings service”.  

I believed that this was God confirming to me that my training in the centre had been completed and I was to move on and enter the Kings service, whatever that meant.  In my own heart and mind I really believed that working in the drop in centre was the Kings service for my life and it was but God had now a different kind or service planned for me.  My patience must have been far worse than I anticipated because it would take another twelve months of crying out to God and seeking his will and direction before he would lead me onto the next road on my journey with him.

We had a celebration party the day the centre officially closed in November 2010.  The building was packed with people who had come in over the three years.  It was very emotional for us all and I found it difficult to again tell people I was moving on to somewhere but could not tell them where because I did not know where.  Imagine the conversation, “What are you going to do now”?  Answer, “I don’t know”.  I am a person who likes to know what lies ahead of me; I like to work within my comfort zone.  The problem with that is my ways are not God’s ways and his ways are always right, so I am continuing to learn to let go and let God.

I am not the kind of person who likes to lie around doing nothing for long periods of time.  One of my former foremen in the big factory once described me as a doer; he paid me the compliment of telling me that he knew if he came and asked me to do something it would be done.  I have to confess that this character trait causes me some problems at times.  If someone tells me they are going to do something for me I get frustrated and impatient if it is not carried out reasonably quickly.  Unless of course there is a good reason for the delay and that is communicated to me.

During the months that lay ahead I had the privilege of serving as mission’s secretary in the church that we had moved to and this provided me with something to keep me occupied.  I like structure, for three years the centre was opened four days a week just before 9.30 am, anyone who knows me well will know how important it is to me to be punctual.  The fact that I did not have to clock in made no difference to my time keeping, I was accountable to the Lord and it was a good witness to be open when you said you would be open.

I knew that whatever God had planned for me to do next would become apparent in his time and not mine so I had to be still and at the same time do something to preserve my sanity.  The solution I believe came from God.  A missionary from Zimbabwe was home on furlough and came to take our midweek meeting.  He shared with us how they had a programme to train young men to become skilled trade’s men so that they could find work to support their families.  He asked if we could help supply the tools that they needed for their trade and as a church we took it on board.

The Lord put it in my heart to ask people in the church if they would like any power washing carried out around their houses and soon I was spending many hours doing just that.  I did not put a charge on the work I only asked that they give a donation towards the work in Zimbabwe.  This is probably a bit sad but for some reason I find using a power washer therapeutic.  The dirtier the patio or paving stones the better.  To see things restored to their proper condition does something for me.  Well I live in Lurgan and I am not that hard to please.

I had an amazing summer power washing numerous things around people’s houses as well as getting to know the people better as well.  On two occasions I became a part time landscape gardener as the paths looked like new the surrounding flower beds had to be brought up to standard as well.  I did not find this work just as therapeutic.  By the end of the summer £1400 pounds had been raised from the power washing and attempted landscaping and I was minus one power washer.  I am proud to say that it could not keep up with me.

When we moved on from the church that I had went to from age sixteen we did not leave under any cloud neither did we make any fuss or try to make life difficult for anyone, we moved on quietly.  I would still visit some people from the church and it was during one of those visits probably around two years after we had left that one of the people in the house told me that they had a dream about me.  I made fun of it by saying that if I was in it then it would have been more of a nightmare than a dream.

This was the first time ever that someone had said anything like this to me.  I deeply respected the person who shared with me what they saw in the dream but to be truthful I in no way felt that what they shared with me could ever be possible.  On reflection there is a well known man in the Bible called Joseph, the son of Jacob.  He shared some dreams with people who also thought that he was crazy.  I respected the person far too much to think that they were crazy but I just thought it impossible what they were telling me.

Two years later and a lot of water under the bridge and I am sitting in the men’s prayer breakfast on a Saturday morning.  The former mission’s secretary came over to me and asked if he could talk with me, at first I thought that I had done something wrong because he looked very serious and apprehensive.  He said that he had a dream about me, it was very specific and what he told me was exactly the same as the other person had told me two years earlier.  I was shocked and slightly confused as to how these two people who had no contact with each other at all were telling me the exact same thing that they had seen in dream’s concerning me.  

The man was almost apologetic for telling me the dream but that changed when I shared with him what the other person had told me two years earlier.  His eyes and my eyes both filled with tears as we realized that God was at work in some way.  At that moment in time in my life I still could not comprehend the exact same thing that they had told me could ever come to pass.  As far as I was concerned it was simply impossible, out of the question.  There must be another interpretation for the dreams.  In the months that lay ahead what they described to me in their dreams would come to pass.  What I thought was truly unimaginable and impossible God made possible.  Lord help my unbelief. 

The drop in centre.

Sometimes people will say things to you and make commitments that they often never carry out.  Thankfully that was not the case with the lady who contacted me months earlier and told me that God had shown her that she was to work with me in the centre when it opened.  When I contacted her to tell her that God had opened the door and provided the premises for the work she did not draw back from her commitment but was excited at what God had done and what she believed God was going to do.

Once again the Lord revealed some things to me through pictures in my mind.  During my quiet time one day I started to see signs with pictures and writing on them.  The signs were to be hung on the black metal grills that protected the large windows of the building and each had a picture of something with a simple saying or phrase with a spiritual content that would hopefully catch people’s attention and direct them into the centre for a chat or whatever.

The first Monday that the centre was opened we prayed for Gods will to be done in the centre and just left things with him.  The lady who was helping me in the centre asked me what if no one would come into the centre, we had not advertised it in any way whatsoever as I believed that God had not put that in either of our hearts.  A friend kindly offered to get us a free write up in the local paper but we gratefully declined.  We believed that this was Gods idea not ours and therefore he would look after it and he did.

At some time during the morning the lady working with me said that someone was walking up and down outside the centre reading the signs hanging on the grills covering the windows.  She asked if perhaps we should go out and invite him in but we resisted the temptation and believed if it was Gods will for him to come in then he would.  I know that some people might not work that way but that is usually the way I work.  God in his sovereign will does not need my interference or advice in what is the right way to do his work.  There are times when he will direct me to go and see someone or do something specific but my norm is to prayerfully wait on him to direct me.

Eventually the man came into the centre and very quickly broke down in tears.  We gave him a seat and made him a cup of tea and when he had settled he began to share some things with us.  I will not divulge what he shared but he was in a desperate place and needed help and we both tried to encourage him and comfort him at the same time.  We asked him if it was ok to pray with him and he allowed us to.  There was no doubt that God had directed him to the centre for specific purposes.  To be honest I cannot remember if anyone else came into the centre that day but meeting this man for the first time and being able to comfort him and pray with him made that day worth wile.

Day two started like day one, we prayed for Gods help and blessing for the centre.  The black door opened and in walked the gentleman who had come in the day before only this time he entered not in a broken desperate state but he had a calm smile on his face.  From my memory he was carrying a large pack of gigantic pancakes which he kindly gave to us for the centre.  He sat down and with a real sense of well being shared with us that he had asked Jesus to be his saviour and had sensed that God was really helping him and had given him a real sense of peace.

We were overjoyed with the man and thanked God for his goodness and faithfulness.  Right from the start God had demonstrated to us that we were in his will doing his work and he would bless it for his name sake.  Some Christian friends also started to come in and pray with us for the work and sometimes they would bring someone with them that perhaps needed help in some way or another.  People from all walks of life started to come in.  Some with difficulties and problems others were just lonely and wanted to be in the company of others. 

A local Pastor came and introduced himself to us and he would sometimes bring people in to us and we would draw alongside them prayerfully and often practically as well.  A number of people with alcohol addiction started to come in and God began to show me that my negative experiences with domestic violence and alcohol would become vitally important when drawing alongside some of these people.  Someone apparently has said that an ounce of experience is worth a ton of theory and I began to realise how true that was.  From my counselling experiences I knew that empathy was far more important to people than sympathy and I began to see that many of my difficult experiences in life had actually qualified me to be able to genuinely feel with people and better understand what they were going through.  

On one occasion another trained counsellor asked me what qualifications I had obtained in counselling, I told them I had got my certificate with high commendation from Queens University and had the option of going on and doing the diploma but had decided not to.  They were very pleased to tell me that they had got their diploma and were going on to do their degree, I was very pleased for them and then I stated that I had attended another university and still was attending and had found the training invaluable.  They seemed very interested as to what other university I was attending for training but when I told them that it was the “University of Adversity” they seemed a little puzzled, I left them to work it out.

There is no doubt that College and University are very important in learning but there are many things about life and people where they cannot really help.  The Apostle Paul was no doubt a very educated man but he realized that path could only take him so far.  For the Apostle Paul God’s power was more important than human wisdom.  God can work powerfully through the things that we have experienced when we see them through the light of his word and the insight that the Holy Spirit gives us.

How many of us can honestly say that when we were going through the storms of life or the dark night of the soul that somehow these things would ultimately work out for our good?  Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose”.  The reality is that often we don’t see how some things can or will work out for our good.  The story of Joseph has been a great help to me over the years.  He had many negative experiences from his point of view but we need to understand that the sovereign Lord allows the things to happen to us and that he is working out his plan and not ours.  Joseph had no idea at the time that the pit and prison experiences would eventually take him to the palace and from there he would rescue his family from possible starvation.  I am not pretending that it is easy to grasp this but if and when we do our lives will be transformed.  Some people see God’s plans as punishments.

The scripture said that “All things work together for good”, not some things.  God is not in control of some things he is in absolute control of everything.  If and when we grasp that then we can be confident and assured that somewhere in life God will use what perhaps others meant for evil to turn out not only for our good but also and perhaps more importantly for the good of others.  When we go through experiences where God has to come to us with his comfort and care we then are in the position to confidently assure others of God’s comfort for their lives in their times of need.

The Apostle Paul put it like this.  “Praise be to the God and father or our Lord Jesus Christ, the father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God”.   It has become apparent to me that those who have been hurt the most and broken the most God uses to help others the most, after he heals their hurt and brokenness. 

A new direction.

I had been working with the mission for approximately three and a half years when I sensed in my heart that God was leading me into full time work with people.  Many people who came into the charity shop would sit and chat over a cup of tea or coffee and share their life experiences with us.  I have found it a privilege to be trusted by people who I do not know very well and yet they would tell me stories about their life experiences, some amusing and funny others serious and heart breaking.

The Lord had so blessed the work of the mission that we were going to move to bigger new premises.  It was at this time that I left the mission feeling a little like Abraham who was told by God to go but did not specify exactly where to go.  It was a difficult decision to make because the three and a half years with the mission had been some of the most blessed and fulfilling years of my life but I really believed that God was moving me on to something else.  The sense that I was feeling was to open a drop in centre where people could drop in and have a chat and if necessary receive informal counselling without making any appointment.

From the time I left the mission until the drop in centre came into being would take twenty one months, my wife and I had also moved to a different church around this time.  During the twenty one month wait for the drop in centre to come into being I continued to volunteer at the Christian counselling centre and I also became mission’s secretary in the new church we were attending.  I was praying and seeking God to show me where the drop in centre would be and how things would work when one day I received a phone call from a lady who I had worked with in the charity shop.

She told me that the Lord had spoken to her regarding the drop in centre and directed her to help me when it opened.  Her call came at an important time in my life as after waiting for some months and not having any specific direction I was beginning to wonder if I had actually heard from the Lord or if the drop in centre idea was mine and not the Lords.  In the following months I spent many hours walking country roads literally crying out to God for direction.  It was during this time also that an old friend called me and asked me to go and see a Pastor who had opened a new charity shop in the town and he was looking for someone to run it.

I went to meet the Pastor and explained to him my position and offered to help him for a number of hours on Saturday but could not run the shop full time as I believed that God had moved me on from that type of work.  After a number of months I once again stopped working in the charity shop and continued to seek God for direction.  By nature I would not describe myself as a naturally patient person but throughout this time of seeking and waiting there was some improvement in this area of my life and there is still room for more improvement.  

It was some months since I had spoken to the Pastor who ran the charity shop but someone had called me thinking that I was still involved with the work and they wanted me to collect a dining table and chairs.  I called at the shop on a Thursday and gave the Pastor the address of where the items were and was about to leave when he stopped me and asked what was happening with my vision concerning the drop in centre.  The Pastor did not know that on the Monday of that week I came to a crisis point concerning the vision.

Twenty one month’s had passed and I had reached the point where I felt that God had not given me the vision and I had moved away from his perfect will for my life.  I felt so desperate that I begged God and pleaded with him to end my misery of uncertainty and to do it that week.  I remember praying that if I had got things wrong would he open up a door for me to get back into paid work.  I had not received a wage for twenty one months and I had been feeling guilty for some time that my wife was keeping me when I should have been providing for her and our family.

On the Wednesday of that week, the day before I met the Pastor I was visiting an elderly lady who I had met in the first charity shop.  I got a call from someone the Lord had brought into my life when I was around the age of seventeen.  I don’t know how we met but he asked me if I would accompany him from time to time and give my testimony before he would preach. I accepted the invitation and we became good friends.  I had contacted my friend at the beginning of the time I moved on from the first charity shop and shared my vision with him and asked him to pray for me.

He had been watching and praying for me and he had called me to offer me a job in a place where he was a director.  I was very grateful for his offer but at the same time my heart sank within me because I took it as confirmation that God was opening this door in response to my desperate prayer for direction and my vision for the drop in centre had not come from God.  I do not know why I did not immediately accept his offer but I asked him when he needed to know my answer and he said Monday.  I was now nearing a state of confusion, I was sure that God had placed the vision for the drop in ministry into my heart but it now seemed that he had not.

The elderly lady that I was visiting at this time had bought me a book as a leaving present when I left the first charity shop, it was called “Connecting” and was written by Larry Crabb.  I am not sure if I have mentioned it before but some time ago I became aware that God would often speak to me by showing me pictures of things in my mind.  Before moving on from the charity shop the Lord had shown me a vivid picture of a block of three electrical connectors joined together with three wires going into each connector, the colours were red, blue and green.

I did not know what this meant for me and after asking God to show me what it meant he did.  The three wires represented the Father, Son and Holy Spirit and the block of connectors represented me.  God wanted to connect me to his power and in return I was to be a connector for people to come and be connected to him.  The elderly lady who bought me the book called Connecting knew absolutely nothing about what God had shown me.  At that time I was sure that this was confirmation from God, there was no way that this was a coincidence.  This same friend who had offered me a job once told me that, “God’s delay is not denial and often we may not be able to trace God’s hand at work in our lives but we can always trust his heart”.

Back to the Thursday now, the day after the job offer and I am sitting with the pastor who has asked me about the vision and I am telling him that it seems I did not hear from God.  More borderline confusion as he tells me that he does not think I got the vision wrong.  I was not sure what to think any more.  After we talked for a while the Pastor asked me to meet him the next day which was Friday, in a place called Moores Lane just of the main street in the town.

I met him outside a building that had a black door and black metal grills over all of the large windows of the building.  My first impression was that it looked like a building where Gothic’s might frequent but it turned out to be where his church met.  I was about to learn that lesson about not judging a book by its cover.  He removed the black metal grill that protected the black door and we went inside, I did not know what lay before me until he switched the lights on.  Immediately God gave me the witness that this was the place where he wanted me to have the drop in ministry.

I cannot describe how I felt, there were so many emotions touched within me at the same time.  One of the strongest emotions was one of disappointment in myself for doubting what God had shown me.  God’s ways are not our ways, his timing hardly ever lines up with our time frame but his ways and his timing are perfect, always.  The Pastor showed me around the premises and asked me what did I think and without hesitation I told him that this was the place God Had chosen.  He shared with me how his church had been praying for the premises to be used more for the work of the kingdom and he agreed with me that this was of God.

While he was showing me around I could not help but think how is this going to work out practically concerning rent, heating and lighting costs.  I had no money to give him and I had no one on board with me accept the lady who had contacted me months earlier to say that the Lord had told her to come and help me when the centre opened.   I sheepishly asked the Pastor what the cost would be to use his premises and this is exactly what he said.  “Hold your hand out”, when I did he dropped a set of keys into my hand and then he said, “Do what God has put in your heart.  If you can give us anything towards costs fine, if not don’t worry”.  That same day I contacted my friend who had offered me the job and thanked him for the offer and told him that God had opened the door and provided premises for the drop in centre.  He amazed me by what he told me next.  He said that after we had spoken on the Wednesday he knew that I would not be going to work for him.  I told him he knew before I did.

This is where I want to give God all the glory I can.  I will explain more later but we were in the centre for three years and we were able to give the Pastor £60 a month towards expenses.  I doubt if that covered all of the costs, especially during the winter time but the Pastor never once put us under any financial pressure.  One of the many lessons that we would learn in the centre over the next three years was that, “What God orders he pays for”.

Increasing passion for people.

My trips to the Ukraine and Crimea had a definite Impact on my life.  It is one thing to witness human suffering and depravity through the media and photographs but it is entirely different to be up close in person and to experience these things.  Two of the places we visited were a hospital and an orphanage that the mission sent aid to.  Before we left them both they were asked if there was anything specific that they were in need of and to our surprise they both mentioned among other things a washing machine.

I don’t know why but I promised the Lord that I would undertake personally to raise the money for both washing machines.  Sometimes we react to things and commit to things when we are emotional and may regret what we have promised.  By nature I would say that I am emotional person, there is no doubt that my emotions were deeply stirred on these trips but without a doubt I had absolutely no regrets or second thoughts about promising God that I would try my best to raise the money for both of these washing machines.

If my bank account had been healthy it would have been easy to pay for the washing machines, the problem was my bank account was not healthy, in fact our account was empty.  Any spare money we had I gave it towards my costs for the trips and my contributions came far short of the amount needed but the mission director very kindly helped me out.  I was learning fast to ask my heavenly father to help me with things that were genuinely beyond my capabilities and I was finding out that in those circumstances my heavenly father did not disappoint.  God will supply for need not greed.  The need was genuine.

As I sought God concerning how to pay for the two items he gave me direction.  Like most people when they get engaged and then married people give them presents.  The Lord reminded me of some of the presents that we had received and were in boxes in the roof space.  I talked with my wife about it and we agreed to gather up other stuff as well and put them in boxes and try and sell them to raise cash for the washing machines.  We gathered up a Country Rose tea set that had never been out of the box, Waterford Crystal, Royal Dolton ornaments and some other stuff. 

The Lord eventually directed me to ask a dealer who came regularly into the shop and who we had become very friendly with would he be interested in buying the boxes of stuff.  He asked me what all was in the boxes and when I told him he asked how much I wanted for them.  I had checked with the mission director how much a washing machine would cost to buy out in the Ukraine and he found out that it would be in and around three hundred pounds each.  When I told the dealer what the money would be used for he took out his wallet and gave me the three hundred pounds without seeing what was in the boxes.  He took my word for it that the value of the items in the boxes was worth over three hundred pounds.  First washing machine bought.  

That was relatively easy.  Raising the next three hundred pounds was once again going to be down to God’s help.  The second three hundred pounds was raised soon after the first but in a very unusual way.  Our Mazda 323 with the cool pop up lights, better known as the poor man’s Ferrari was due M.O.T. and I took it to someone that I had worked with in the big factory to check it out and get it ready.  The day after leaving it with him he called at the house and I thought that was a good sign that there was not much that had needed done to it, wrong, wrong and very wrong.  

At first I thought he was winding me up when he told me that our car was not worth putting through the M.O.T.  He was not joking and then he told me what was wrong with it.  He told me that he had never come across it before in a Mazda but underneath the car was completely rotten by what he called creeping rust.  He brought me out to the garage and showed me the problem.  He could stick a screw driver straight through the floor almost everywhere under the car.  I asked him what I could do and he told me to sell the car for scrap value.  My heart sank within me, we had no money to replace the car and we could not get a loan because we were already paying one off.

As I reflect over my thirty nine years journey with Christ there have been many situations where I could not see a way out but I can honestly say that where I could neither see nor find a way out God always did.  The story unfolds like this.  The big man who worked with us new someone who bought scrap cars and sometimes fixed them up, we brought him to see the car and he offered me three hundred pounds.  I felt insulted and angry at such a small offer.  I told the man that the five alloy wheels were worth more than that and he just said take it or leave it.  I took his offer for one reason only, it was the amount needed for the second washing machine.  Second washing machine paid for, promise to God fulfilled and minus transportation.

During this personal drama the mission director had been away in England on mission business and when he returned someone had told him before I did about what had happened with the car.  When I finally caught up with him he asked me what had happened to the car because it looked in really good condition from the outside.  I told him the story and he said not to worry because he had some good news for me.  My first thought was that it was ok for him to tell me not to worry but it was me without a car and not him, I had not considered that whatever good news he was about to tell me would not really help me not to worry.  Wrong, wrong, wrong again.  Getting things wrong comes easy to me.

I could not take in what he told me next.  He reminded me that he had mentioned to me some time ago that he and his wife were thinking about changing their car and they had decided to do so within the next couple of weeks and they would give us their car.  I felt like crying but thankfully the shock prevented me from doing so.  Neither my wife nor I could really take it in that someone would give us a perfectly good car, and it was a good car.  It was a Citroen 1900 Turbo Diesel.

We thanked them both profusely for their generosity and kindness once again.  A few weeks after this the director and I were out in the van either collecting or delivering stuff , he said he wanted me to call with him round to his house as he wanted to show me something.  When we arrived he reached me an envelope and asked me to read what was inside.  It was an envelope from someone who knew them both and it said that enclosed was a cheque for two thousand pounds for him and his wife, I think it said for a holiday for them both but it was for them to spend on themselves.  He then explained to me that was the exact amount that they had hoped to get for their car when they traded it in against the new one they were purchasing.

God is so good to his people.  He delights in blessing his children.

The words of Jesus.  “Give and it will be given to you.  A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap.  For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you”.  (Luke 6:38)

People with a different language.

During my three and a half years with the mission I had the wonderful privilege of going to the Ukraine twice and Crimea once.  Watching the recent crisis unfold in these countries has brought back many memories of my visit to them.  Some of the memories are good, some not so good, some are sad and others make me glad.  I am sincerely grateful to the mission director for bringing me with him to have those experiences.

The mission provided a variety of projects that made a real difference to people’s lives in various desperate situations.  The containers that were sent out had a vast variety of items in them.  There were hospital beds and hospital equipment, wheel chairs, Zimmer frames, medication, food and clothes and many other practical and useful items as well.  One of my outstanding memories was the first time that I went to the local church were the Pastor who co-ordinated the work in the Ukraine was ministering.

The building was huge.  I think it was a theatre of some kind with a massive stage.  I had never before experienced anything like it. The people were called to worship by someone blowing the Shofar, (Rams horn).  The Israelites used it for praise, worship and going to war.  When the man blew it every hair on the back of my neck immediately stood to attention, it was as if the presence of the Lord had been summoned and he had powerfully turned up.  We know that God inhabits the praises of his people but I had never felt it so powerfully before this.

There was a powerful time of praise and worship in the presence of the Lord and then the mission director was invited onto the huge stage by the Pastor.  The director spoke to the large crowd through our interpreter and he received a great welcome.  After speaking for just a few minutes he looked down at me in a way that made me quite nervous, there is a look that people sometimes give you just before they are going to ask you to do something that you know absolutely nothing about.

Before I knew it I had been invited up onto the huge stage to be introduced to the people and then to give a word of testimony.  I felt very nervous as I had never stood up before such a large crowd of people before, every one of them a total stranger who spoke a strange language.  When I had climbed up the steps and turned around I could not believe what I was looking at.  There was a vast crowd of people before me that I had seen once before.  I saw them when I was sixteen just after I asked Jesus into my heart.

I was washing my hair in the sink in the kitchen; yes I had hair then, when I saw a vision of a great gathering of people before me.  I had no idea who the people were until that day when I turned around on that huge stage in the Ukraine.  It was the exact scene that I had seen over twenty years previous.  I felt overwhelmed and nearly broke down but God restored my nervous composure.  It was some experience, I had never spoken through an interpreter before and it took a while for me to shorten my sentences.

At the end of the service something happened that I will never forget.  A man who was probably in his sixties came up to the director and presented him with something wrapped in a piece of old newspaper.  When he opened it a wide eyed fish was staring at him, we looked at each other amused and a little baffled and then this man said something to the interpreter.  We found out that he wanted the director of the mission to receive the fish as a gift and token of the man’s appreciation for the work the mission was doing and the many lives that were being helped.  It was a very humbling experience as this was apparently the most valuable thing that he possessed.

We visited a hospital, an orphanage, a feeding facility for children, many of them street children who were living in underground tunnels for want of a better word.  Some of the tunnels housed the heating pipes that went under the city.  It was heart breaking to see such young children live in such terrible conditions but it was uplifting to see them getting one decent meal a day in the feeding centre that the mission sponsored. We visited some villages and distributed food, clothes, shoes and other basic items that many of us take for granted. 

When we returned home I was even more determined to do all that I could to help and support these needy people.  God was blessing the work so much that the director had to rent more suitable warehouses to contain the furniture, clothes and many other items that were coming in.  I suggested that perhaps we should consider painting and refurbishing some of the older furniture and see if anyone would be interested in buying it.  The director asked me did I know how to spray paint and when I said I could I think he was a little surprised.

To cut a long story short before long we had a spray booth and a sanding booth, plus a much needed extractor fan that the owner of the warehouse sorted out for us.  We were amazed at the interest there was in the refurbished furniture and this became a very useful source of income for the mission.  Two or three containers sent out each year was the target but the shipping costs kept rising.  On one occasion the mission director shared with me that a container was due to be paid for in the next couple of days and the finances were not there to pay for it.

This situation was one of many where God would teach me something new about himself.  I was familiar with the saying, “Man’s extremity is God’s opportunity” but had not experienced very much of that in my life in a practical way, until now that is.  We were about to head off to make a collection on the Gilford road out of Lurgan when the mission director suggested we pray in the van before we leave.  We had already prayed in the shop but the situation was desperate and prayer was the key to unlock the door of heaven and pour out blessings.

We both prayed and asked for God to somehow meet the need.  As we were travelling up the Gilford road the directors mobile phone rang, I will say he pulled in, just in case he would still be liable for prosecution.  The caller wanted him to collect some items for the mission and he asked him his location, to both our amazement he gave his address as the Gilford road, the same road that we were on.  He was only a couple of miles from our original destination.

When we arrived at the location it was a rather large house with stables beside it, neither of use new who lived there.  The director went to the door and I stayed in the van, it seemed that he was taking a long time to come back and then suddenly a lady appeared at the van and asked me to come inside the house.  I immediately recognised her and she recognised me, she was the sister of someone that I used to hang out with. 

Her husband and the director were sitting chatting and she offered us either tea or coffee.  Her husband was asking questions about the work that the mission carried out and he seemed quite interested.  Just before we left he left the room and came back with an envelope and reached it to the director and said that it was a donation for the work of the mission.  He was thanked and we collect the stuff that we had originally been called to collect and left the house.  As we were travelling down the road the director reached me the envelope and asked me to see what was inside it, it was a cheque for £1000.  Before the end of that day most if not all or the money was raised for the container, either through gifts or sales in the shop.  The lesson God taught me that day was that, “Whatever he orders he pays for”.

The people.

One of the many things that I liked about the charity shop was that we prayed every morning before we opened the shop.  We sought God’s blessing and God’s favour for all of the different aspects of the work.  This was all new to me but the Lord really helped me to adapt to the work.  People were everywhere.  I had the privilege of working with volunteers who the Lord also guided to the shop.  We would go out to the homes of people and collect furniture and other items for the shop and I really enjoyed getting out and about.  For the last fifteen and a half years I had worked in a factory where there were no windows on the shop floor and now I was travelling all over the place meeting new people.

I met people from all walks of life and different backgrounds.  We tried to befriend people by offering them free tea, coffee and biscuits.  It was amazing how people would open up their lives to me and share their stories, some were good, some were sad and some were full of tragedy.  One elderly gentleman would usually pop in once a week for a cup of tea and a chat.  I remember him vividly because he would usually bring an apple tart with him.  He worked in the Merchant Navy as an electrician and I could have listened to him for hours as he shared his adventures with me as he travelled the world.  I sometimes envied him because of all the places he had been around the world.

On one occasion when he came in to us he seemed a little down, he lived alone as his wife had passed away some time ago.  I asked him if he was ok because he was not talking very much and he proceeded to tell me why he was feeling down.  He loved being with his grandchildren, he would collect them and either bring them for a drive of take them to his house, he was lonely and the children helped to take away some of the lonely hours.  It seemed however that his son did not realize how important it was for him to call for his grandchildren in his car because he told his dad that he feared for their safety when he was driving them about.

This devastated the lonely ageing man.  He told me he felt useless and he became really dejected.  The seemingly one thing that made him feel good and of worth had been taken away from him, I am sure the son did not intend to hurt his dad but often people make decisions concerning older people without really thinking through what the consequences might be.  Working in the shop and meeting such a wide variety of people with their different character traits would be an education to me but I did not realize that at the time.  There have been many times when I have looked back over my life and remembered situations that I found myself in and could not make sense of it, only to discover later on that God was teaching and developing me for the work of his kingdom.   

There are so many stories and so many characters that I could mention.  Sometimes younger people would venture into the shop but usually the regulars were of the more mature generation.  I don’t think before this point in my life I had much time for ageing people, all of my grandparents were dead and I did not have much social contact with the older folk.  Working in the charity shop dramatically changed my mind set.  I grew very fond of our mature customers; to be honest I am not sure what the best way is to address older people, that is why I use different language concerning them.

Some of our mature customers came from what I used to call “The other end of the town”, this simply meant that they were Roman Catholics, remember those people who I formerly hated before I became a Christian.  Two senior citizens who were regulars came from the far end of the town, the two ladies in question would often have us in stitches as they told us stories and we would often tease the one who apparently never went out with a man in her life.  She was also afraid of electricity and on one occasion she bought a push lawn mower to cut her grass, when I delivered it I had to cut the grass because it was so long she was not able to push it through it.

There were others who came into the shop who had deep troubles and we would do what we could to help them.  There were at least two men who would visit us from time to time who had alcohol related problems.  One day one of them came into the shop and when I greeted him he unexpectedly through his arms around me and hugged me.  In an instant I had a terrible flash back accompanied with a sudden feeling of intense anger.  I almost struck the man but God’s amazing grace prevented me from doing so.  When the man unexpectedly hugged me it reminded me of how my father used to smell when he would come home drunk.  I was not angry at this man who was innocently embracing me but my intense anger was rekindled towards my deceased father.  God’s love conquers all and soon I was embracing the drunken man as well.

The other man who had alcohol problems was a very skilled stone mason but the alcohol had robbed him of the potential that was within him.  One day he asked me to pray for him and I did, I suggested that it might be good for him to find something to occupy his time and he asked if he could volunteer to work in the shop when he was capable to do so.  He came regularly for some weeks and was genuinely making the effort to keep away from the liquid that was destroying his life.  On day he asked me could I lend him the bus fare to take him to a village about three miles from the shop, he wanted to visit a friend.  I knew not to give an alcoholic money so I told him I would drop him off because I was going that way to make a delivery.

He accepted the lift to verify his story but I found out later on that what I suspected was true, he did not want the money for the bus fare he wanted it for drink but the scheme backfired and after I dropped him off he had to walk back the three miles to Lurgan.  Sadly one of his drinking friends died in an institution and after attending the funeral he went off with some of his old drinking acquaintances and I never saw the man again.

God really began to pour his favour and blessings into the shop.  I truly believe this was in response to our prayer time before we opened the door to the public.  The building that we were in became too small for the furniture that was being donated to the shop and the mission director rented the upstairs of the building.  It was a shambles up the stairs, it had not been used for anything worthwhile in years and it would take some effort, time and finances to get it to the place that we wanted it to be.  One of our dedicated volunteers was a bull of a man, on one occasion he rested a large double wardrobe on the top of his head because it was too big to turn at the top of the stairs and it had to be lifted straight up over the baluster.

One day a man came into the shop and told us about a man that he knew who was in desperate need of help.  The man had tried to hang himself and he was afraid that he might try to kill himself again.  The mission director suggested to the man to ask this individual if he would like to help out in the shop and the man accepted the offer.  The mission director thought it might be good if this man who I had never met should spend some time with me in the warehouse packing clothes into boxes that would later be sent to the Ukraine.  The hope was that we would become friends and he would trust me and perhaps share with me some of his difficulties.  The man I am talking about was the bull of a man I just mentioned.

We went to the warehouse and after an hour or so not a word came out of this man.  I felt very uneasy about being alone with him especially after I suggested that he was welcome to take a coat if he found one that would fit him and put it on as the warehouse was freezing.  This suggestion got him talking, his words were something like, “What do I want to put a coat on for, I am here to work”?  Those were the last words he spoke to me that day.  Thankfully through time he did begin to trust me and we spent many hours together and became good friends.  We delivered furniture, collected furniture, packed boxes and loaded  up forty foot containers together.  By the way by now my arm had healed, six cortisone injections later and much prayer.

The work was hard at times but there were many funny things that happened as well.  Someone had donated pallets of masonry paint that came in what I think were five litre plastic tubs.  All of it was being loaded onto the forty foot lorry. This bull of a man was always up front stacking the stuff and it was hard sometimes to keep up with him.  Most of the paint had been stacked when suddenly one of the stacks came tumbling down and there was a river of paint flowing down the inside of the lorry.  The big man started screaming for someone to throw up some old rags to mop up the paint and one of the other volunteers started throwing garments into the big man.  He frantically through them on top of the flow of paint and started to stamp on them, as I remember this I cannot help but laugh.  Suddenly a familiar looking garment was flying into the back of the lorry and it was quickly onto the paint and well and truly stamped into it.

Some people have a favourite coat that they wear everywhere and it almost seems a part of them, this was such a coat, it was the big man’s coat, for all I know he could have slept in it.  I cannot remember him wearing any other coat, I am almost certain it was at one time green.  Time seemed to stand still as he realized someone had thrown his coat into the lorry thinking it was of no use to anyone.  When he started shouting “That’s my coat” I retreated to the back of the lorry for health and safety purposes and the man who through the coat into the lorry and shall not be identified suddenly disappeared out of sight.   

The coat was totally ruined and the offer from the mission director to replace it was not well received.  On another occasion the big man excitedly came into the shop and demand that I quickly follow him, which I did.  The next thing I knew he was in a skip that was on the side of the road outside a shop that was being refurbished.  He was firing carpet tiles out of the skip as quick as the men doing the refurbishing were putting them into it.  He ordered me to put them in piles and bring them back to the shop.  My obedience was short lived and I left him to do both jobs himself.  His heart was in the right place because he thought they could be used for upstairs in the shop.

My thinking was a little different; I felt that God would provide something better than these second hand carpet tiles, some of which were worn more than others.  Suddenly I got directions from God, he reminded me that there was a factory in the town that manufactured carpet tiles and I should go there and ask for some.  Once again in order to cut a long story short the Lord showed us marvellous favour and when we had finished collecting the new tiles they gave us I think there was a total of fifteen pallets of end of the line tiles.  The agreement was that we would use what we needed for upstairs and the rest would be sent to the Ukraine.

The big man could not believe that we could get so many new tiles free and was a bit miffed as he returned the second hand tiles to the skip.  Sometimes we can forget that God wants the best for his children.  When the Israelites left Egypt they left with a lot of the treasure that the Egyptians could not wait to give them.  Think small receive small, think big receive big.  Perhaps pray is a better word than think.       

From machines to people.

We read that there was a time in the life of Abraham when God told him to go out but God did not give Abraham all the specific directions as where exactly to go to.  I felt a little like Abraham at this point in my journey with Christ, he had definitely answered my prayer, not as I thought he would but in a much better way for me.  I was now out of employment but did not have a clue at this point in my life where or who the people were who God wanted me to work with.  It can be quite scary when you are going in a direction that you do not know and have no real idea what may lie ahead.

In 1991 I had been diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome, I was studying for my health and safety exam and it was during this time that I was almost killed in the terrorist ambush coming home from work.  I cannot say for sure if it was the stress associated with these two events going on in my life at the same time but I began to feel very unwell and had to have a number of tests before being diagnosed with I.B.S.  I had almost convinced myself that there was something more seriously wrong with me due to the effects of the condition.

After a few months of praying and waiting for God to show me the way ahead I found myself becoming anxious and a little stressed about the uncertainty of my future.  My arm was still far from being healed and I was very restricted in any work that I would like to have undertaken.  I can remember getting particularly down when my fishing friends were heading down to Mullingar for a few days Carp fishing and I could not go because I could still not hold a rod.  The feelings of sickness first thing in the morning were starting to emerge again and I was afraid that the Irritable bowel syndrome was coming back. 

I prayed more earnestly and also shed many tears in my need for directions and God answered again in his own way and time.  For no apparent reason that I can think of I felt the urge or need to find out how to become a trained counsellor.  I made some inquiries and found out that there was a Christian counselling centre in the same street that I was born in, the famous Union Street where many famous and educated persons were born.  The last statement was a gross exaggeration, my conscience made me correct it.  It is true to say though that the street had many interesting characters.  There was at least one man who was sort of famous, he was well known in the cycling world for the racing bicycles that he handmade.  As a young boy I had the privilege of watching him make many of them.  

I made an appointment and met a couple of very helpful ladies who worked in the counselling centre.  They gave me advice on where to start studying for counselling qualifications and I took their advice and concluded my studies by receiving my counselling certificate from Queens University.  Studying for the Queens certificate was very challenging to me, the only real studies I had undertaken prior to this was in 1991.  I found the class room particularly intimidating for a couple of reasons, firstly because I was the only male in a class of around twelve and secondly because the ladies all seemed to come from professional back grounds.  Believe it or not I was still quite shy around women.

On completion of my certificate the Christian counselling centre very kindly allowed me to work with them as a volunteer Christian counsellor.  I gained a lot of experience and insight during my time with them and I am sincerely grateful to them for helping me to develop counselling skills which are very valuable to me still today.  It was during my time of studies that the second door of direction opened up to me.

My Pastor and his family were going to America for their holidays and he asked me to drop them off at Dublin Airport.  On my return to Lurgan I needed to go to the bank but it was not open so I spent some time walking around the town.  I walked down a little entry into a small court yard where I knew there was a pet shop but it was closed as well.  As I turned to walk back onto the main street a woman called my name, when I turned to see who it was there was a lady standing outside a door into a shop that I had not realised was there.

The lady worked in the counselling centre that I also worked in and I had met her on a course that the centre had run.  When I approached her and greeted her she invited me into the shop.  It was a charity shop that helped support humanitarian aid and other projects in the Ukraine.  She then proceeded to ask me the following question, “What are you doing”?  My response was, “I am waiting for the bank to open”.  She responded by saying, “I don’t mean what you are doing right now but what are you doing with your life”?

The directness of her question took me completely by surprise and I stumbled for the right answer.  I believed that counselling was part of God’s plan for me at that time but beyond that I had absolutely no idea.  I told her how I had arrived at that junction in my life and then she asked me if I had any spare time would I like to volunteer to work in the charity shop.  To be honest I was hesitant, I knew absolutely nothing about working in a shop and was not sure if I really would like to.  She said that she would like me to meet the mission director who was in charge of the shop and all of the humanitarian work.

As I sat and waited for the mission director to arrive people started to come and go in the shop and I began to wonder if this was part of Gods plan for me to meet and work with people.  The director arrived and introduced himself and the vision for the work of the mission; he was so passionate for the people of Ukraine and the desperate situation that many found themselves in.  Before very long his passion for the people began to take hold of me also and I volunteered to work in the shop.  What I did not know was that in a few months time I would be the manager of the shop and through this work God would take me to a place that he showed me in a vision when I was sixteen.

A new chapter in my life was about to begin and during the next three and a half years God would teach me more about faith and trust in him than I had learned in the previous twenty five years of my Christian life.  Anyone who has worked as a volunteer will know that it doesn’t pay well, monetarily speaking.  I had no income now and we had upgraded the ageing heating system in the house and my settlement payment was being quickly depleted.  It was Christmas time and for the first time that I can remember our cupboards were quite bare.

A knock came to the door and I was confronted by the mission director and his wife.  I was surprised to see them and they had with them a couple of large brown boxes, the boxes contained groceries and other house hold items.  They said that the Lord had put it on their hearts to give the stuff to us, we had told no one of our situation but God was again beginning to show us new things concerning how Jehovah Jireh works.  (Jehovah Jireh=The Lord will provide)  On another occasion one the Mission trustees gave the director £50 to pass on to me, I found this strange because I had never met the man and he wanted to give me money.  I was entering into a season of revelation and development that seemed previously hidden to me and it was exciting to see God at work in new dynamic ways.